Anonymous said: ILY BABE
OH MY GOSH AWWW. I LOVE YOU MORE BABE :)
Anonymous said: You didn't reply to my kik message and I'm scared that I've annoyed/upset you
No? You deleted your kik and now I can’t message you.
Anonymous said: I don't know if I love my boyfriend anymore. He doesn't turn me on and I find myself not missing him when we're not together. He's the only person I have though and I don't want to lose our great friendship by breaking up with him.
Oh my gosh. I know how that is. My first relationship that lasted 2.5 years was EXACTLY like that. You may not know it yet but you’re living in a toxic environment and this can only get worse. You need to end it. It’s the right thing to do, even though I know it’s really difficult. Trust me, I knew I needed to end it and I kept avoiding it and it just started killing me inside. And it’s not worth it.The only thing that separates friends and relationships is sexual attraction. It’s not fair for you or your boyfriend to be in a relationship like this. I know you want to keep his friendship, but right now doing the right thing is more important.
Now what I’m about to say may come off as kind of mean, BUT I PROMISE YOU I’m not judging you. I was in the EXACT same position as you, and I’m going to tell you what I wish I could’ve told myself. Honestly, it sounds to me like you’re only keeping him around as your safety net. You don’t love him like a boyfriend, but he’s the only person you have and you don’t want to lose that comfort. But babe that isn’t fair to him. Or you. You can’t grow as a person if you’re holding onto this relationship and you can’t just string him along for the rest of forever.
The longer you stay in this relationship the harder it’s going to be to get out. Do the right thing and set yourself free and set him free to. After you two break up, it may take some time before you two can maintain a friendship. But it’s very possible you can stay friends! Just give it time, and no matter what you’re going to feel a weight off your shoulders when you do the right thing. I can promise you that. :)
Anonymous said: Roughly a month ago the guy I consider my first love left without a word. A few days ago my friends set me up with someone but I'm afraid it's gonna end the same way, with me all torn up. Advice on how to not let my emotions get the best of me??
Awww babe :( I’m so sorry. I know it hurts. But hey! Just look at this as your chance to reinvent yourself :) Learn from the mistake of getting attached too soon and don’t let it happen again.
A very similar thing happened to me in May or June, I don’t remember which. Things were great and he left without a word, and I’m not going to lie. It hurt. For like a day. But I don’t like being upset at all. So after that happened I decided I was done. No more feelings. No more expectations. No more attachment. Guys say shit that make us feel like they’re always going to be there, but that’s just not a realistic expectation to hold. Never think that way unless they have EARNED it. As in, you’ve been with them for a really long time and they haven’t given you any reason to believe otherwise. Because believing that a guy will always be there for you is what leads you into heartache. And I know that might seem like a really negative way to look at things, but I don’t even consider myself a pessimist anymore. I’m a realist. I expect nothing, but I hope for the best. And if things don’t work out, oh well. I wasn’t even attached in the first place. Everything is whatever.
I know I always say this but I’ll say it again because I really really believe this. Go listen to the song “How to be a heart breaker” By Marina and the Diamonds, (Click Here) not only because it’s like the best song ever but I have COMPLETELY based my views on love off this song. If I ever feel myself getting out of line and feeling a little sad because a boy was a jerk to me, I play this song over and over and over and I feel better. The message is phenomenal. Like “Rule Number 2. Just don’t get attached to somebody you could lose” “Rule Number 3. Wear your heart on your cheek but never on your sleeve unless you want to taste defeat.” AKA NO FEELINGS, NO ATTACHMENT. HAVE FUN BUT DON’T EXPECT ANYTHING. DON’T GIVE YOUR ALL TO SOMEONE YOU JUST MEET BECAUSE THERE’S A REALLY GOOD CHANCE IT’S NOT GONNA WORK OUT.
My advice with this new guy is just go in and try and have a good time. Don’t even think about what role he could play in the future or how things are going to turn out. Who. Cares. If things don’t work out with this guy, there will always be another guy to take his place, so never stress yourself out over a boy who is replaceable. (And every boy is replaceable. Some are just easier than others)
Anonymous said: Hi, love your blog. So two months ago my ex broke up with me then about two weeks later unfollowed me on twitter. Well it has been two months since the break up, which by the way he told me I never contact him again. But then about a week ago, he followed me on twitter again. So my question is, if he didn't give a crap about me anymore and never wanted to hear from me again. Why would he do that? And we haven't talked in like seven or eight weeks. I'm just a little confused is all.
Well that is definitely a gesture of some kind. He wouldn’t do that if he still wanted nothing to do with you. I’m not saying this means he wants to get back together, but if he followed you on purpose that might be his way of saying he’s okay with you now. My advice is don’t really act on this at all or think about it too much. It may have been on accident, maybe someone else followed you for him. Even though this is a gesture of some sort it’s still not a big enough gesture to act on or worry about. Lay low and see if anything else happens with him. If he starts texting you that’s when you should start paying attention.
Anonymous said: Im so heartbroken right now.. it hurts so bad Koda I thought this guy had a thing for me but instead I heard from one of his friends that hes actually been really into this other girl lately and I feel so confused Im mad sad disappointed furious but most of all, so so so soo hurt. I wore my heart on my sleeve and this is what I get in return. Im starting to think no guys out there are decent. I don't know what to do know, how do I get over a guy who I was never even with, everyone just thinks --
— its pathetic and oh so easy because I was never even in a real relationship with him but what people dont know is how many times this boy has led me on and MADE me fall for him. No one gets that this is also extremely hard for me, just because we never kissed, held hands or been on a date, it still hurts just as much. I dont even understand why this is so hard, its not like there are any memories to look back on except for things hes said to me. Sorry this took up two asks, by the way.
Oh my gosh babe :( Well first of all I want you to know that NO ONE has the right to tell you you have no reason to be sad. About anything, ever, but especially this because you have every right to be upset. Just because you guys never went out doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Girls get sad over crushes all the time, and you had history with this boy, trust me. I get it.
But I also want you to know that you’re not going to be sad over this boy forever! I know you care about him and your heart is set on him but you’re going to be okay. Learn from this experience. NEVER wear your heart on your sleeve because that’s a one way ticket to getting your heart hurt. I’m kind of in ice queen mode right now, so I’m really big on not putting your feelings on the line. Not now anyways. There are guys out there who will treat you right, it just might not be the right time. But don’t worry. Boys grow up, they mature, some stay assholes, but most turn into decent human beings compared to their teenage years.
I really think this is all in your head. You’re setting yourself in this “I CAN NEVER GET OVER HIM” mindset and it’s trapping you. Of course if you tell yourself you can’t you’re not going to! Try and think positive babe. You CAN get over him. 20 years from now you’re not going to still be pining over this boy and your current memories with him. Believe me. You are going to be fine you just need to think positive and believe it! Look forward to what the future holds for you and let go of things that are in the past. :)